they say the past makes a part of who you are. you learn from past experiences, relationships and mistakes to become a better person.
you have to put the past behind you in order to move forward.
but where do we draw the line about what deserves to be in our future, and what is meant to be left behind? if something in your past has made you a better person today, is it wrong to preserve this bit of history?
things change...people come and go. it's rare to find people who haven't changed and remain grounded, and when you do it's all the more rewarding.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
style file #1
it's been a quiet week for little j over here...
and by quiet, i mean insanely busy and working 12 hour days- almost everyday. so yes, quiet on the blog front.
it was just like any other day on the subway today, but for some reason i noticed a significant amount of poorly dressed people. if there was an episode of what not to wear for every person i saw that was dressed reaaaaallly badly, the show would go on for another 10 years i'm sure.
so i decided that i would be a secret creeper and take photos of such people- then dissect their outfit as to why i consider it to be ugly. i know many of you will think, style is subjective. yes and no. i've worked in fashion long enough to know that style is a personal choice and good style is not about following trends (neons, spandex, etc). it's about knowing what flatters your body type and also reflects your personality. i hate it when people ask me what's "in" this season, or when they mention "ohhh ___ is sooo in right now!" yes-- yes it is splattered over every magazine i've seen as of late. and it will also look like shit outside of editorials and on you.
good style in my books- is not necessarily something i would wear. to me, it's looking at someone and being able to get a sense of their personality through their clothing. it's making the best out of what your mama gave ya and it's about proportions. mostly, it's how the person carries the outfit.
now let's get to the ugly truth. a lot of people are confused. confused about proportions, the definition of tacky, and many of these lost souls are label whores. people who throw every available brand name item on their body (their only concern being the label) are the worst.
when i see a guy decked out in ed hardy/christian audigier/true religion EVERYTHING, my head starts to spin and i see doubles. toomanyflashythingscoloursahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
one of my biggest pet peeves is when guys pop their collars. way back when hollister and A&F hit canada popping the collars of polos were all the rage. i am not even going to begin on how some membranes in my nostrils possibly (90%) have died because of the putrid cologne sprayed in those stores.
the collar is there for a reason, and that is not to be 'popped'. is the back of your neck cold? are you a fucking homo? oh you're in a frat? that's why.
there is something about popped collars that give guys undeserved arrogance and douchey-ness. power to the poppers.
let me add that i watched this guy spend a good 10 mins twisting lumps of his hair. he was trying to achieve the perfectly twirled piece-y look.
final word: don't pop your collars boys. unless your target market is 15 year old abercrombie-jean-skirt-wearing girls, don't do it.
and by quiet, i mean insanely busy and working 12 hour days- almost everyday. so yes, quiet on the blog front.
it was just like any other day on the subway today, but for some reason i noticed a significant amount of poorly dressed people. if there was an episode of what not to wear for every person i saw that was dressed reaaaaallly badly, the show would go on for another 10 years i'm sure.
so i decided that i would be a secret creeper and take photos of such people- then dissect their outfit as to why i consider it to be ugly. i know many of you will think, style is subjective. yes and no. i've worked in fashion long enough to know that style is a personal choice and good style is not about following trends (neons, spandex, etc). it's about knowing what flatters your body type and also reflects your personality. i hate it when people ask me what's "in" this season, or when they mention "ohhh ___ is sooo in right now!" yes-- yes it is splattered over every magazine i've seen as of late. and it will also look like shit outside of editorials and on you.
good style in my books- is not necessarily something i would wear. to me, it's looking at someone and being able to get a sense of their personality through their clothing. it's making the best out of what your mama gave ya and it's about proportions. mostly, it's how the person carries the outfit.
now let's get to the ugly truth. a lot of people are confused. confused about proportions, the definition of tacky, and many of these lost souls are label whores. people who throw every available brand name item on their body (their only concern being the label) are the worst.
when i see a guy decked out in ed hardy/christian audigier/true religion EVERYTHING, my head starts to spin and i see doubles. toomanyflashythingscoloursahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
one of my biggest pet peeves is when guys pop their collars. way back when hollister and A&F hit canada popping the collars of polos were all the rage. i am not even going to begin on how some membranes in my nostrils possibly (90%) have died because of the putrid cologne sprayed in those stores.
the collar is there for a reason, and that is not to be 'popped'. is the back of your neck cold? are you a fucking homo? oh you're in a frat? that's why.
there is something about popped collars that give guys undeserved arrogance and douchey-ness. power to the poppers.
let me add that i watched this guy spend a good 10 mins twisting lumps of his hair. he was trying to achieve the perfectly twirled piece-y look.final word: don't pop your collars boys. unless your target market is 15 year old abercrombie-jean-skirt-wearing girls, don't do it.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
the alpha male syndrome
aka. when guys turn douchey
the alpha male syndrome is a serious epidemic sweeping asia. i've noticed symptoms long ago, but never put the pieces together until recently while discussing with some friends. if you don't know what i'm talking about, i urge you to read on.
WHO: 23-26 year old asian males. and for those 26+, it really depends on their state of mind or if they choose to relocate.
WHERE: asia. hong kong, taiwan, singapore, etc etc. it can happen anywhere.....
WHAT: the overview of this disease generally involves that nerdy asian guy lurking in the corner of your photos. in college, they never drank obscene amounts (if at all), were always working on keeping their GPA above the 3.0 mark, and didn't get to "play the field" since there was no playing field for those of their caliber.
they graduate, get great paying jobs, get sent out to the city (mainly new york) for training. typically they stay in new york for maybe 1-2 years. while there, all they do is work, go out occasionally for dinner, don't go to clubs b/c they can't get in, and do more work. they get paid well- but there's no where/one to spend it on. girls don't give them the time of day, bouncers turn them away. what's a nerdy unfortunate looking asian boy to do?
pack your bags, and move to asia. no tax = more $, more $ = gold digging fobs
so they move to asia, and life is fucking sweet. it's an all-you-can-eat buffet over here. all of a sudden, they are giving props to the bouncers, buying bottles upon bottles, and have accumulated a large collection of bitches at their booth.
you know that song by dj class & lil john... it goes a little something like this:
that is their anthem. with a bottle of belve in one hand, and a bottle of veuve in the other, they act like they RUN the club. girls flock to them- either to get free alcohol or to meet some of these ballllllling bankers (or both).
WHY: put these guys back in ny or north america for that matter, and their ego suddenly deflates. they can't get booths or bottles, and even if on that rare occasion they have a booth- no girls are flocking. it's in part a problem b/c of all low quality girls here. (and because there aren't 20 million other good looking white guys competing with them)
the flockers: born and bred locals, or those that went to college abroad for 4 yrs (yes, you are still a local my dear) looking to marry rich. they dream of wasting their afternoons away being tai-tais and having afternoon tea at the peninsula. so if their tricks are nothing new to the "old money" guys, then they'll go for the "new money" finance guys. at the end of the day money is money, right?
basically, girls here are on the prowl. guys have plenty of options since the flockers throw themselves at them. and by them, i mean their money. i'm not saying gold diggers don't exist in north america b/c they sure as hell do. it's just that here in asia -- the gold diggers have zero shame. it's a.... if-you've-got-$$-then-you've-got-me attitude over here.
with the nerdy asians rolling in the dough and the flockers a-flocking, the ego of the nerdy asian grows exponentially. now that they have bottles and bitches, they run the town!
WORD OF WISDOM: if you are not easily annoyed by obnoxious, ugly yet conceited guys, and would like some free drinks - go for it. if it's not worth the free drinks for you (usually isn't), then i'd peace out ASAP before you catch some herpes.
the alpha male syndrome is a serious epidemic sweeping asia. i've noticed symptoms long ago, but never put the pieces together until recently while discussing with some friends. if you don't know what i'm talking about, i urge you to read on.
WHO: 23-26 year old asian males. and for those 26+, it really depends on their state of mind or if they choose to relocate.
WHERE: asia. hong kong, taiwan, singapore, etc etc. it can happen anywhere.....
WHAT: the overview of this disease generally involves that nerdy asian guy lurking in the corner of your photos. in college, they never drank obscene amounts (if at all), were always working on keeping their GPA above the 3.0 mark, and didn't get to "play the field" since there was no playing field for those of their caliber.
they graduate, get great paying jobs, get sent out to the city (mainly new york) for training. typically they stay in new york for maybe 1-2 years. while there, all they do is work, go out occasionally for dinner, don't go to clubs b/c they can't get in, and do more work. they get paid well- but there's no where/one to spend it on. girls don't give them the time of day, bouncers turn them away. what's a nerdy unfortunate looking asian boy to do?
pack your bags, and move to asia. no tax = more $, more $ = gold digging fobs
so they move to asia, and life is fucking sweet. it's an all-you-can-eat buffet over here. all of a sudden, they are giving props to the bouncers, buying bottles upon bottles, and have accumulated a large collection of bitches at their booth.
you know that song by dj class & lil john... it goes a little something like this:
cause i'm the shit, yeah i'm the shit
up in this bitch, up in this bitch
(repeat annoyingly x4)
up in this bitch, up in this bitch
(repeat annoyingly x4)
that is their anthem. with a bottle of belve in one hand, and a bottle of veuve in the other, they act like they RUN the club. girls flock to them- either to get free alcohol or to meet some of these ballllllling bankers (or both).
WHY: put these guys back in ny or north america for that matter, and their ego suddenly deflates. they can't get booths or bottles, and even if on that rare occasion they have a booth- no girls are flocking. it's in part a problem b/c of all low quality girls here. (and because there aren't 20 million other good looking white guys competing with them)
the flockers: born and bred locals, or those that went to college abroad for 4 yrs (yes, you are still a local my dear) looking to marry rich. they dream of wasting their afternoons away being tai-tais and having afternoon tea at the peninsula. so if their tricks are nothing new to the "old money" guys, then they'll go for the "new money" finance guys. at the end of the day money is money, right?
basically, girls here are on the prowl. guys have plenty of options since the flockers throw themselves at them. and by them, i mean their money. i'm not saying gold diggers don't exist in north america b/c they sure as hell do. it's just that here in asia -- the gold diggers have zero shame. it's a.... if-you've-got-$$-then-you've-got-me attitude over here.
with the nerdy asians rolling in the dough and the flockers a-flocking, the ego of the nerdy asian grows exponentially. now that they have bottles and bitches, they run the town!
WORD OF WISDOM: if you are not easily annoyed by obnoxious, ugly yet conceited guys, and would like some free drinks - go for it. if it's not worth the free drinks for you (usually isn't), then i'd peace out ASAP before you catch some herpes.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
swimming, stds, and standards
1. SWIMMING (barely)
remember the time when i was this close to peacing out and heading home, when i got my dream job and stayed back? im not complaining by any means, but the downside of getting tied down to a job was obviously the fact that i was unable to travel. so when my friend was in thailand as part of a SE asia trip, and i saw those cheap ticket deals... i was sold. turns out it wasn't that cheap, but i desperately needed to get out of hk, which meant i pulled a 'sick day' for the fri and left thurs night. the travelling was a nightmare. around 3hrs to bkk, then another 2hrs to phuket, then 1hr into the town where the ferry terminal is, then another 2hrs to koh phi phi. PLUS the layover times in between flights and the 3 hrs we had to kill before our ferry ride. i know i seem stupid/crazy for going through all of that and wasting most of my time travelling, but it was so so sooooo worth it!!!!
koh phi phi was beautiful. yes, there were white sands and crystal clear water... like punta cana/cancun/cabo etc etc. but there were also amazing mountains and caves, longtail boats and kayaks everywhere. and although the cost of my tickets added up, the entire trip evened out since things were dirt cheap over there. example: i paid $33 CAD for 2 nights at our hotel, breakfast included. it was no ritz carlton, but it was certainly cheaper than hostels i've stayed at in europe (mind you we slept in bunks there too). shopping was good too (and this wasn't even in bangkok...the things i have heard abt that place..) - i got a bikini set for $7, and a purse for less than $40 (this was on the considerably 'pricier' end). obviously my affair with thailand has barely just begun....
we lucked out with amazing weather (as it is supposed to be rain season) both fri and sat. did a boat tour for the whole day on sat, roasted under the sun, and swam in the sea!!! sorta. for those of you who don't know me and are creeping me here, you should know that i can't swim. true story. if you threw me in an 8ft. deep pool, i would kick and scream, then drown.
so i "swam" with a life jacket on, and it was definitely not by choice. basically, we were in a large boat when we got to maya bay and could not dock close enough to get to the beach. so we had to swim from the boat - to this sketchy ladder over a cliff thing - climb this super sketchy ladder - and when we got down this sketchy ladder, we were greeted with 5mins worth of painfully jabbing rocks we had to walk thru, bare feet. and although my toes are still cut up and suffering (i am convinced i can see flesh for one), my only concern was getting through the huge waves and to the sketchy ladder. i will never, EVER get used to salt water going down my nose. from there on in, they pulled out the kayaks to transport us from the boat to wherever we were to go, and i never had to worry about 'swimming' again. the thai man who kayaked me back = my hero.
to sum up the rest of the trip: tanning, shopping, nutella/banana pancakes everyday, drinking out of buckets, doing a limbo...of fire. it seemed like a good idea at the time.
and then it was all over in a flash, and i went back to work with curious colleagues asking why i looked so tanned... hahaha.
2. STDS
shortly after i got back, i found out who the new girl was (or one of many) that dbag is dating. the worst part is, this new girl was friends w/ the guy i was kinda/sorta seeing. just to make things easier, we're going to refer these ppl as:
after creeping around some more, i noticed a lot of photos of fatty + TA together. they say pictures are a worth a thousand words, and as the master creeper that i am (no shame here), i could tell something was up between the two. after confirming with my sources, i found out it was true. it took me days to get the taste of vomit out of my mouth.
somehow, it was soo difficult to wrap this around my head. basically, while i was dating douche and kinda seeing fatty on the side, so was this girl. and clearly, douche went on dates w/ her while we were still dating, AND she was hooking up/dating/whatevs with fatty also, WHILE i was rebounding w/ fatty.
you know in sex ed when they tell you that every person you sleep with, you are basically sleeping with all of their previous partners which is on avg 5 ppl? then it branches off and you begin to see a slew of ppl linking up to your name as you have more partners yourself... and you can't bear the thought of having 20+ partners indirectly?
okay. now imagine how i felt when i found out that 2/3 guys i have dated here have been dating the same girl during the same time period, while they were also dating me? and these ppl aren't just hypothetical names branching off your little box...
it's inevitable, right? hk is tiny. or well, if you go out enough, your social scene is the same 300 ppl you know, have met, will meet again drunkenly, or will eventually meet next wk. i guess the real shocker is that i was naive enough to think that just because douche and fatty do not run in the same circles at all, that they would never have any sort of connection whatsoever. WRONG.
their connection was tack attack. a girl who (most biases removed) is stuck in the early 90s with her fashion sense (think 90210, OLD version) with a chubby face one would call "meen bao" (bread) in chinese. in english, i would simply call her ugly.
fine fine. she isn't hideous. but matching eye shadow to her clothes? (blue eyeshadow, blue dress-- this is not a joke) tying up the ends of a dress shirt to show your belly + booty shorts combo? an all leopard print skin-tight dress? (think donatella versace circa the 90s- not her designs, but something she would wear then). um.... even uglier now?
sometimes you can be a bit revealing (with class of course), also known as sexy:
exhibit a (blake lively)
and then there are times when you are revealing way too much:
exhibit b (carmen electra)
she is no carmen electra, but it is completely unnecessary that i am seeing a good 4 inches of skin above your jeans. i do not want to see your midriff unless you are adriana lima (pre-pregnancy) or cristiano ronaldo. end of discussion.
which leads me into...
3. STANDARDS
has it ever crossed your mind why megan fox is banging brian austin green?? she's megan fox for fuck's sake, her options should be endless! what megan fox needs, are standards...something we both have in common.
i was pretty bummed when i found out douche and fatty were both dating/dated TA. now, if she was a relatively attractive or cute girl, then at least i would grin and bear it. but the fact that she is....well, what she is...i can't help but to put myself on the same 'level' as her. what's worse is that i heard from a credible source that she is an airhead. she's dresses like asshole, she's dumb, and she's NOT cute?! what the fuck!
what does that make me? i'm offended. sure i am obvi brighter, better looking, more successful, and (way) more stylish than this girl - but what does it matter when 2 completely different guys i liked at one point are into her too?
that's when i realized that my greatest attribute to them was having a pussy. clearly, these guys don't care abt what i have to offer intellectually. they were just interested in getting laid. that's the type of girl, that level, they will get if that's what they're looking for. slutty, dumb, and cute in the dark with a paperbag over her head.
and WHY do i keep lowering my standards for ppl like that? i was never initially interested in either of the 2 guys. then i did the "oh he's so nice... he seems like a cool guy" and went straight downhill from there. i began to look past their 'flaws', which i have learnt is not acceptable. there shouldn't be any flaws when you first start dating someone. and if there are, stop dating them. this should happen somewhere down the 1 year path when you accept ur bf/gf's annoying 'flaws'. physical chemistry + attraction = key.
this "growing on you" bs- is truly bullshit. i'm not saying don't stop till you find yourself a brad pitt, but don't overlook things just because someone is 'nice' and sell yourself short. somehow we think that the less fortunate looking guys are nicer (and therefore more faithful), because they have to be. not true. that guy you think is 'nice' , will turn out to be another douche just like the rest.
so if we're all dating douches in the end, why not date a hot one?
new job, new standards. and i won't take receding hair lines and obesity for an answer.
remember the time when i was this close to peacing out and heading home, when i got my dream job and stayed back? im not complaining by any means, but the downside of getting tied down to a job was obviously the fact that i was unable to travel. so when my friend was in thailand as part of a SE asia trip, and i saw those cheap ticket deals... i was sold. turns out it wasn't that cheap, but i desperately needed to get out of hk, which meant i pulled a 'sick day' for the fri and left thurs night. the travelling was a nightmare. around 3hrs to bkk, then another 2hrs to phuket, then 1hr into the town where the ferry terminal is, then another 2hrs to koh phi phi. PLUS the layover times in between flights and the 3 hrs we had to kill before our ferry ride. i know i seem stupid/crazy for going through all of that and wasting most of my time travelling, but it was so so sooooo worth it!!!!
koh phi phi was beautiful. yes, there were white sands and crystal clear water... like punta cana/cancun/cabo etc etc. but there were also amazing mountains and caves, longtail boats and kayaks everywhere. and although the cost of my tickets added up, the entire trip evened out since things were dirt cheap over there. example: i paid $33 CAD for 2 nights at our hotel, breakfast included. it was no ritz carlton, but it was certainly cheaper than hostels i've stayed at in europe (mind you we slept in bunks there too). shopping was good too (and this wasn't even in bangkok...the things i have heard abt that place..) - i got a bikini set for $7, and a purse for less than $40 (this was on the considerably 'pricier' end). obviously my affair with thailand has barely just begun....
we lucked out with amazing weather (as it is supposed to be rain season) both fri and sat. did a boat tour for the whole day on sat, roasted under the sun, and swam in the sea!!! sorta. for those of you who don't know me and are creeping me here, you should know that i can't swim. true story. if you threw me in an 8ft. deep pool, i would kick and scream, then drown.
so i "swam" with a life jacket on, and it was definitely not by choice. basically, we were in a large boat when we got to maya bay and could not dock close enough to get to the beach. so we had to swim from the boat - to this sketchy ladder over a cliff thing - climb this super sketchy ladder - and when we got down this sketchy ladder, we were greeted with 5mins worth of painfully jabbing rocks we had to walk thru, bare feet. and although my toes are still cut up and suffering (i am convinced i can see flesh for one), my only concern was getting through the huge waves and to the sketchy ladder. i will never, EVER get used to salt water going down my nose. from there on in, they pulled out the kayaks to transport us from the boat to wherever we were to go, and i never had to worry about 'swimming' again. the thai man who kayaked me back = my hero.
to sum up the rest of the trip: tanning, shopping, nutella/banana pancakes everyday, drinking out of buckets, doing a limbo...of fire. it seemed like a good idea at the time.
and then it was all over in a flash, and i went back to work with curious colleagues asking why i looked so tanned... hahaha.
2. STDS
shortly after i got back, i found out who the new girl was (or one of many) that dbag is dating. the worst part is, this new girl was friends w/ the guy i was kinda/sorta seeing. just to make things easier, we're going to refer these ppl as:
- douche, le douche, dbag, other similar variations (refer to first few entries)
- new girl dbag is dating = tack attack, TA for short (will be explained in depth further on)
- guy i was kinda/sorta seeing = fatty (will be explained also)
after creeping around some more, i noticed a lot of photos of fatty + TA together. they say pictures are a worth a thousand words, and as the master creeper that i am (no shame here), i could tell something was up between the two. after confirming with my sources, i found out it was true. it took me days to get the taste of vomit out of my mouth.
somehow, it was soo difficult to wrap this around my head. basically, while i was dating douche and kinda seeing fatty on the side, so was this girl. and clearly, douche went on dates w/ her while we were still dating, AND she was hooking up/dating/whatevs with fatty also, WHILE i was rebounding w/ fatty.
you know in sex ed when they tell you that every person you sleep with, you are basically sleeping with all of their previous partners which is on avg 5 ppl? then it branches off and you begin to see a slew of ppl linking up to your name as you have more partners yourself... and you can't bear the thought of having 20+ partners indirectly?
okay. now imagine how i felt when i found out that 2/3 guys i have dated here have been dating the same girl during the same time period, while they were also dating me? and these ppl aren't just hypothetical names branching off your little box...
it's inevitable, right? hk is tiny. or well, if you go out enough, your social scene is the same 300 ppl you know, have met, will meet again drunkenly, or will eventually meet next wk. i guess the real shocker is that i was naive enough to think that just because douche and fatty do not run in the same circles at all, that they would never have any sort of connection whatsoever. WRONG.
their connection was tack attack. a girl who (most biases removed) is stuck in the early 90s with her fashion sense (think 90210, OLD version) with a chubby face one would call "meen bao" (bread) in chinese. in english, i would simply call her ugly.
fine fine. she isn't hideous. but matching eye shadow to her clothes? (blue eyeshadow, blue dress-- this is not a joke) tying up the ends of a dress shirt to show your belly + booty shorts combo? an all leopard print skin-tight dress? (think donatella versace circa the 90s- not her designs, but something she would wear then). um.... even uglier now?
sometimes you can be a bit revealing (with class of course), also known as sexy:
exhibit a (blake lively)
and then there are times when you are revealing way too much:
exhibit b (carmen electra)
she is no carmen electra, but it is completely unnecessary that i am seeing a good 4 inches of skin above your jeans. i do not want to see your midriff unless you are adriana lima (pre-pregnancy) or cristiano ronaldo. end of discussion.
which leads me into...
3. STANDARDS
has it ever crossed your mind why megan fox is banging brian austin green?? she's megan fox for fuck's sake, her options should be endless! what megan fox needs, are standards...something we both have in common.
i was pretty bummed when i found out douche and fatty were both dating/dated TA. now, if she was a relatively attractive or cute girl, then at least i would grin and bear it. but the fact that she is....well, what she is...i can't help but to put myself on the same 'level' as her. what's worse is that i heard from a credible source that she is an airhead. she's dresses like asshole, she's dumb, and she's NOT cute?! what the fuck!
what does that make me? i'm offended. sure i am obvi brighter, better looking, more successful, and (way) more stylish than this girl - but what does it matter when 2 completely different guys i liked at one point are into her too?
that's when i realized that my greatest attribute to them was having a pussy. clearly, these guys don't care abt what i have to offer intellectually. they were just interested in getting laid. that's the type of girl, that level, they will get if that's what they're looking for. slutty, dumb, and cute in the dark with a paperbag over her head.
and WHY do i keep lowering my standards for ppl like that? i was never initially interested in either of the 2 guys. then i did the "oh he's so nice... he seems like a cool guy" and went straight downhill from there. i began to look past their 'flaws', which i have learnt is not acceptable. there shouldn't be any flaws when you first start dating someone. and if there are, stop dating them. this should happen somewhere down the 1 year path when you accept ur bf/gf's annoying 'flaws'. physical chemistry + attraction = key.
this "growing on you" bs- is truly bullshit. i'm not saying don't stop till you find yourself a brad pitt, but don't overlook things just because someone is 'nice' and sell yourself short. somehow we think that the less fortunate looking guys are nicer (and therefore more faithful), because they have to be. not true. that guy you think is 'nice' , will turn out to be another douche just like the rest.
so if we're all dating douches in the end, why not date a hot one?
new job, new standards. and i won't take receding hair lines and obesity for an answer.
Monday, July 27, 2009
i'm alive
**EDIT**
so i have been ridiculously busy at work and usually don't get home till after 8pm. which means, i am still recovering from my whirlwind trip and simply do not have the time and energy to write. i'll leave you guys with another picture and the promise that a bomb entry will be up this weekend.
_________________________________
escaped hong kong for a bit over the wknd and headed to thailand instead. just a sneak preview of my upcoming post about this little piece of heaven...... among other things i need to have a good bitching about.
re-open for stalkers in 2 days. come back soon =)
Saturday, July 18, 2009
on the rebound
a friend who has been following my blog was recently surprised to find out that i was dating (uhh it's complicated) someone else already. this got me thinking about... rebounds.
at some point in your life, you have probably had a rebound or been a rebound (whether you know it or not). speaking from personal experience, it's moving on by having a little fun. speaking for most girls, it's so you can show your ex that you are capable of getting some hot new man candy on your arm and that he's the one missing out. beyonce put it best when she sang: "you must not know bout me, you must not bout me. i can have another you in a minute, matter of fact he'll be here in a minute...."
see, all girls like to wave their (faux) happiness in their exes' face-- even beyonce. girls really go out of their way to try to prove that they're happy and doing really well, like some sort of kelly clarkson post-break-up song. another reason why people have rebounds is for company. all of a sudden they have a ridiculous amount of free time on their hands. who do you have dinner with? who do you watch a movie with? who else-- your rebound! he's convenient, he keeps you company, and you can easily transfer your emotional attachment from one douche to another.
i don't see a problem with rebounds if the two parties are on the same page-- just out to have fun. that being said, i'm sure we all know people who jump from one relationship to the next with no break in between. i never really understood that.
if you are getting out of a long-term relationship, how is it that 2 months down the road you have a new bf/gf? is this person a rebound? is it true love? how the hell would you even know if you barely know yourself?! getting out of a relationship is like grieving for a loss- having gotten to know a person so well, the memories you shared, their endearing family, their friends who welcomed you with open arms...
i don't understand how you can be so invested in something over a period of time and when it falls apart, have the emotional capacity to do it all over again with someone new so quickly? building a relationship and getting to know someone takes time. it's not memorizing 20 facts about his favourite things till he gets the pass to be your boyfriend.
more importantly, how do you know who you are, in the absence of a boyfriend? it's common sense to me that you would want to take time out for yourself, do a little thinking about what the relationship taught you or who you became b/c of it...not just displace that attachment onto the next walking thing.
i always pity people like that, or get scared for them. what would this person be without a bf/gf? how would they even know how to deal? frankly, i think people who have a pattern of doing that are deathly afraid of being alone and out of their comfort zone. i get that. i mean, who doesn't want to know that someone out there is thinking about them? but wouldn't it be nice to be in a relationship with someone when you know yourself better? you can make better decisions about your potential other half, and he can see who you are on your own, without his influence. relationships should be more about compromise than they are about adaptation. rather than jumping into something with another person and have them "grow on you", somewhere out there, there is a guy/girl who is already perfect (in your eyes) without you having to try so hard to see past things this "growing on you" guy has.
so am i on the rebound? well, let's not give douchebag that much credit. i'll admit, the first 2 weeks i really wanted to run into him and then proceed to flirt with everything that walked in front of me before his eyes. by the 3rd week i realized that i don't have time for that shit. when i go out, i am looking bomb for myself. not for him to see me in a tight little number and cry a little over it, cuz i don't even need to look bomb for that to happen. i'm not on the rebound, i'm just out to have fun.
so boys...call me!
at some point in your life, you have probably had a rebound or been a rebound (whether you know it or not). speaking from personal experience, it's moving on by having a little fun. speaking for most girls, it's so you can show your ex that you are capable of getting some hot new man candy on your arm and that he's the one missing out. beyonce put it best when she sang: "you must not know bout me, you must not bout me. i can have another you in a minute, matter of fact he'll be here in a minute...."
see, all girls like to wave their (faux) happiness in their exes' face-- even beyonce. girls really go out of their way to try to prove that they're happy and doing really well, like some sort of kelly clarkson post-break-up song. another reason why people have rebounds is for company. all of a sudden they have a ridiculous amount of free time on their hands. who do you have dinner with? who do you watch a movie with? who else-- your rebound! he's convenient, he keeps you company, and you can easily transfer your emotional attachment from one douche to another.
i don't see a problem with rebounds if the two parties are on the same page-- just out to have fun. that being said, i'm sure we all know people who jump from one relationship to the next with no break in between. i never really understood that.
if you are getting out of a long-term relationship, how is it that 2 months down the road you have a new bf/gf? is this person a rebound? is it true love? how the hell would you even know if you barely know yourself?! getting out of a relationship is like grieving for a loss- having gotten to know a person so well, the memories you shared, their endearing family, their friends who welcomed you with open arms...
i don't understand how you can be so invested in something over a period of time and when it falls apart, have the emotional capacity to do it all over again with someone new so quickly? building a relationship and getting to know someone takes time. it's not memorizing 20 facts about his favourite things till he gets the pass to be your boyfriend.
more importantly, how do you know who you are, in the absence of a boyfriend? it's common sense to me that you would want to take time out for yourself, do a little thinking about what the relationship taught you or who you became b/c of it...not just displace that attachment onto the next walking thing.
i always pity people like that, or get scared for them. what would this person be without a bf/gf? how would they even know how to deal? frankly, i think people who have a pattern of doing that are deathly afraid of being alone and out of their comfort zone. i get that. i mean, who doesn't want to know that someone out there is thinking about them? but wouldn't it be nice to be in a relationship with someone when you know yourself better? you can make better decisions about your potential other half, and he can see who you are on your own, without his influence. relationships should be more about compromise than they are about adaptation. rather than jumping into something with another person and have them "grow on you", somewhere out there, there is a guy/girl who is already perfect (in your eyes) without you having to try so hard to see past things this "growing on you" guy has.
so am i on the rebound? well, let's not give douchebag that much credit. i'll admit, the first 2 weeks i really wanted to run into him and then proceed to flirt with everything that walked in front of me before his eyes. by the 3rd week i realized that i don't have time for that shit. when i go out, i am looking bomb for myself. not for him to see me in a tight little number and cry a little over it, cuz i don't even need to look bomb for that to happen. i'm not on the rebound, i'm just out to have fun.
so boys...call me!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
little j riding hood
i'm exhausted. hopefully i'll get outta this tired-as-hell-everyday thing, cuz y'all know i have tons to bitch and blog about if i weren't so tired!
1. so i have an intern. yes, i totally own him. hahaha, kidding. maybe if this little shit actually did some work (or went to work) i wouldn't be as tired as i am. he started last week and i have seen him for approximately 1.5 days. out of the 10 days he has begun, he has been sick for 8.5 days. damn kid, that's more than what some perm staff take for holidays! what a joy it is being an intern!
he has been suffering from a stubborn "cough" that apparently a weeks' worth of rest will not cure. a typical hong kong boy who went to international school here and continued college abroad, mom + pops knew someone who knew someone to get him in. he previously worked for celine across the hall, which was probably his first foot in the door. he is a transfer student studying at parsons (great school but really feeling like it's totally over-rated as of late... parsons is not the only fashion school in life... umm central saint martins anyone??), just finished his first year and interning at vogue in the fall.
when he told me he was starting at vogue, i literally laughed in his face and said, "good luck".
on the first full day i saw him, he was openly bbm-ing and giggling at his berry, while we were going through magazines. well, while i was going through the mags for press credits, and he was reading them basically. (something that our regional pr exec noticed and told my super)
next, he FALLS ASLEEP on his desk and when the senior event manager asks if he's feeling okay, he says oh yes...he's just a little sleepy, that's all! hehehehe!! UMM WHAT THE FUCK?
that's two strikes. while i was supposed to teach him the ropes of managing samples to take a load off my shoulders, he was too busy playing dress-up. keep in mind he is a little asian boy, possibly skinnier than me, with a voice definitely 2 octaves higher than mine. he is trying on our men's f/w samples made for gorgeous, tall, built, european men...all of which he is not.
although i do admit it was kinda funny watching the clothes swallow him up and him giving me his critiques of how this jacket is totally cute...tee hee!
the other day, our boss (the pr director) asked where he was. trust me, this man is busy. and the fact that he noticed this kid is a waste of space is a pretty big deal. did i also mention that when he fell asleep on his desk during that first day, he was about 10 meters away from the boss' office?? disrespecttttt.
to prove that he was seriously concerned, he asked if maybe he was in the press room but we didn't know? (there's an automatic sliding door that is usually kept closed) that was obviously impossible since my colleague and i tend to that room all day and only we have the keys. he then asked my colleague to open the door for him just to make sure. no sign of the intern here! strike three!!
he is "supposed" to be in tomorrow, which means i'll have to babysit. is he going to get fired? meh, probably not. his internship lasts for another 2 weeks and he is basically the laughing stock of the office. this kid just thinks wayyy too highly of himself. we have another intern who is THE boss' friend's son. he is always working on projects, asking for things to do, and the poor thing can't even understand what all the chinese women are laughing and gossiping about (white boy) all day. even if you are bored shitless and have nothing to do, act busy. that is the beauty of interning.
what a star this intern is compared to the white boy!! i actually would die to see him get screamed at by people at vogue, trying to juggle the starbucks trays, and spending a solid day at kate's paperie finding the perfect thickness to a certain type of paper needed for a ladies' luncheon invite. and i know that is just the basics of what he will endure at vogue.
i can't wait to see what sort of valuable life lesson the cruel new yorkers will teach him. and by valuable life lesson i mean completely belittle and demean him with the most tedious grunt work of life.
2. last week, my colleagues asked me what kinda guys i liked. i then showed them a series of hotties in magazines to give them an idea. i guess the funny thing is, i could've just pointed at a certain magazine cover-- because right there was a guy that i have been on/off dating for a while. it'd be pretty interesting to see their reactions, if they knew i had been seeing this guy (and wtf is he doing on this cover?) who is 11 years my senior.
when i left work and stepped into the elevator, i ran into the ex of a guy i used to date here as well. coincidence? naw. i know exactly who she is. she works for the same company and is in a senior management position. in fact, our teams collaborate together on big projects...awkward. i obviously knew who she was because he had mentioned her before, and thanks to the new facebook settings i can creep and see her profile pic.
how awkward would it be... to find out that this little 22 year old has dated the guy on that magazine cover over there, and the long time ex bf of a senior manager in the same company?? both 11 years my senior. hm- i also forgot to mention that the two men are acquaintances, and i met 'cover man' in the presence of the other guy. am i a neighbourhood bike? or like i said before, hk is just too incestuous...totally not my fault. i'm going to stick with the latter.....
a wise friend recently told me that i "deserve a guy with a full set of hair". call it irony or bad genes, the youngest guy i've dated here (re: douche bag--see below) is the one using rogaine.
actually, i'm going to call that...karma. ;)
1. so i have an intern. yes, i totally own him. hahaha, kidding. maybe if this little shit actually did some work (or went to work) i wouldn't be as tired as i am. he started last week and i have seen him for approximately 1.5 days. out of the 10 days he has begun, he has been sick for 8.5 days. damn kid, that's more than what some perm staff take for holidays! what a joy it is being an intern!
he has been suffering from a stubborn "cough" that apparently a weeks' worth of rest will not cure. a typical hong kong boy who went to international school here and continued college abroad, mom + pops knew someone who knew someone to get him in. he previously worked for celine across the hall, which was probably his first foot in the door. he is a transfer student studying at parsons (great school but really feeling like it's totally over-rated as of late... parsons is not the only fashion school in life... umm central saint martins anyone??), just finished his first year and interning at vogue in the fall.
when he told me he was starting at vogue, i literally laughed in his face and said, "good luck".
on the first full day i saw him, he was openly bbm-ing and giggling at his berry, while we were going through magazines. well, while i was going through the mags for press credits, and he was reading them basically. (something that our regional pr exec noticed and told my super)
next, he FALLS ASLEEP on his desk and when the senior event manager asks if he's feeling okay, he says oh yes...he's just a little sleepy, that's all! hehehehe!! UMM WHAT THE FUCK?
that's two strikes. while i was supposed to teach him the ropes of managing samples to take a load off my shoulders, he was too busy playing dress-up. keep in mind he is a little asian boy, possibly skinnier than me, with a voice definitely 2 octaves higher than mine. he is trying on our men's f/w samples made for gorgeous, tall, built, european men...all of which he is not.
although i do admit it was kinda funny watching the clothes swallow him up and him giving me his critiques of how this jacket is totally cute...tee hee!
the other day, our boss (the pr director) asked where he was. trust me, this man is busy. and the fact that he noticed this kid is a waste of space is a pretty big deal. did i also mention that when he fell asleep on his desk during that first day, he was about 10 meters away from the boss' office?? disrespecttttt.
to prove that he was seriously concerned, he asked if maybe he was in the press room but we didn't know? (there's an automatic sliding door that is usually kept closed) that was obviously impossible since my colleague and i tend to that room all day and only we have the keys. he then asked my colleague to open the door for him just to make sure. no sign of the intern here! strike three!!
he is "supposed" to be in tomorrow, which means i'll have to babysit. is he going to get fired? meh, probably not. his internship lasts for another 2 weeks and he is basically the laughing stock of the office. this kid just thinks wayyy too highly of himself. we have another intern who is THE boss' friend's son. he is always working on projects, asking for things to do, and the poor thing can't even understand what all the chinese women are laughing and gossiping about (white boy) all day. even if you are bored shitless and have nothing to do, act busy. that is the beauty of interning.
what a star this intern is compared to the white boy!! i actually would die to see him get screamed at by people at vogue, trying to juggle the starbucks trays, and spending a solid day at kate's paperie finding the perfect thickness to a certain type of paper needed for a ladies' luncheon invite. and i know that is just the basics of what he will endure at vogue.
i can't wait to see what sort of valuable life lesson the cruel new yorkers will teach him. and by valuable life lesson i mean completely belittle and demean him with the most tedious grunt work of life.
2. last week, my colleagues asked me what kinda guys i liked. i then showed them a series of hotties in magazines to give them an idea. i guess the funny thing is, i could've just pointed at a certain magazine cover-- because right there was a guy that i have been on/off dating for a while. it'd be pretty interesting to see their reactions, if they knew i had been seeing this guy (and wtf is he doing on this cover?) who is 11 years my senior.
when i left work and stepped into the elevator, i ran into the ex of a guy i used to date here as well. coincidence? naw. i know exactly who she is. she works for the same company and is in a senior management position. in fact, our teams collaborate together on big projects...awkward. i obviously knew who she was because he had mentioned her before, and thanks to the new facebook settings i can creep and see her profile pic.
how awkward would it be... to find out that this little 22 year old has dated the guy on that magazine cover over there, and the long time ex bf of a senior manager in the same company?? both 11 years my senior. hm- i also forgot to mention that the two men are acquaintances, and i met 'cover man' in the presence of the other guy. am i a neighbourhood bike? or like i said before, hk is just too incestuous...totally not my fault. i'm going to stick with the latter.....
a wise friend recently told me that i "deserve a guy with a full set of hair". call it irony or bad genes, the youngest guy i've dated here (re: douche bag--see below) is the one using rogaine.
actually, i'm going to call that...karma. ;)
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